It is well documented that squats are a horrible exercise choice for anyone who actually cares about their body. They are reckless, dangerous and an inefficient use of your time. You’re better off doing basically anything else. Here’s why:
• Squats hurt your knees. We all know this to be true – especially if you squat anywhere near to parallel. All of those Olympic weightlifters, pro athletes, powerlifters and bodybuilders who squat all the way down are genetic outliers with divinely engineered knee joints. Plus, steroids.
• Squats require you to place a loaded barbell on top of your spine! It’s practically in direct contact with the vertebra. This is just stupid. It would be different if there were some kind of muscle group there, maybe trapezoidal in shape, that could form a cushion between the bar and your delicate spinal structure but since that hasn’t yet been discovered this statement is 100% accurate.
• You just don’t need to do squats to build muscular, strong legs. Focusing on things like leg presses, leg extension and lunges is a far more effective way to build great legs. All those lifters who used squats were on steroids and that’s the only reason they got results. You need to train the small, assistance muscles in order to pull the skin closer to the muscle anyway.
• The back squat is more of a low back exercise than a leg exercise anyway. Just look at the name: BACK squat. Plus the physics says so. If my math is correct, and according to my PhD. in Mathology from the correspondence college of Nigeria it is, the following formula illustrates my point perfectly:
L2*Sq=(R3/3I)531
I won’t bore you by actually explaining what any of that means in terms that any normal person could actually understand. Just suffice it to say that back squats are terrible for you spine. Anyone who says differently is probably on steroids.
• No sport outside of powerlifting, Olympic weightlifting or Crossfit requires you to place a load on your back and lift it straight up. Therefore, squats are not a functional exercise. So why waste your time? It’s not like the ability to exert force using a rigid, neutral trunk and activating the musculature of the hips, knees and torso is ever going to come about in every day life.
• I know this dude whose friend went to school with a Navy SEAL who says squats suck. This point is axiomatic.
• Heavy squats, on top of destroying your knees and back (see the above points), will make you slow. Everyone knows that lifts that move slow make you slow. Therefore, heavy squats will hurt athletic performance.
• Squatting is too hard on the central nervous system. Squatting more than once a month will totally burn out your CNS and lead to overtraining. Nobody in the history of lifting has ever been successful by squatting more than once a week MAX. Nobody. I dare you to find one. The Bulgarians were all on steroids.
• The Olde Time Strongmen didn’t do squats. If they didn’t do them, you don’t need to do them. These dudes were jacked and strong and we’re all pussies nowadays because we don’t do anything they used to do. Including putting extra E’s on of the ende of stuffe that doesn’t neede it. And why didn’t they squat? Because there were no steroids back then.
I know some of you trolls out there are going to say that there are only 9 reasons there. First of all, remember my Mathology Doctorate and stfu. Second, you’re probably all on steroids. Therefore, nothing you have to say regarding training is evenly remotely applicable to us natty lifters.
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Brilliant
Haha! Love it!
Will do some squats now!
Gonna carry this shit on my fuckin’ back!
You are a the stupidest person ive ever heard of. that was the stupidest article ive ever read. Ive NEVER done steroids and i do squats all the time and my quads are huge.. You are a dumb ass!!! KILL YOURSELF you useless waste of oxygen.
Christopher Smith,
You sir, are officially and idiot! Have a great day!
Respectfully yours,
Justin
This by far is the most ignorant fitness article I ever read. And no I’m not on steroids….idiot.
Christopher Smith,
You sir, are officially an idiot! Have a great day!
Respectfully yours,
Justin
You’re a fucking idiot.
My only advice for you is to climb back to the whole you came from since everything written here is pure bs !
I can list 100 of reasons to do squats but i wont since its a waste of time with people like you.
While I don’t think squats are absolutely necessary to build muscle… Is this a joke? If so, oblivious commenter is oblivious.
Clearly a water head wrote this.
PLEASE someone tell me this guy is kidding..PLEASE?
I’m going to go ahead and assume this is a joking article comparable to a news report on theonion.com. If your goal was to actually be serious and try to make a compelling argument loaded with “facts”, well, you failed. And there are a lot of people, including myself, laughing at you. Thanks for the Monday giggle. That was a good one.
Not sure if serius…
You’re an idiot.
And now I realize this really is a joke and I’m glad I was right hahaha. Well played sir. Well played.
Its true. Squatting will also increase your ass size. Imagine having to carry THAT load with bad knees AND back problems!
You’re an idiot
i might just go ahead and kill myself after reading this.
well actually i only see 8 good points here.The Olde Strongmen did squats so they got it wronge too.Another proof steroids have been around for some time
Just realized this is meant to be satire. Disregard my previous comment.
You are an ignorant prick for even writing something with this amount of misinformation.
BURN BURN BURN, the wrongest thing I’ve ever read. There is a special place in hell for fools like you – they put a burning barbell and make you squat.
YOU ARE A MORONN!!!!!!!
Brillint RUBBISH
Brilliant RUBBISH
kill yourself. All i do is squats in gym 1x per week, other days are for the rest of my body. Legs are my superior part… dude wth? Extensions for mass? Are you high? Yeah extensions for mass on steroids yes but not natural.Just because you don’t like the exercise or you had an injurie it doesn’t mean that one of the superior compound exercises sucks. Dude find another hobby and leave fitness/bodybuilding alone. Just saying.
This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read!
“Brilliant” Yeah a Brilliant moron, this guy has know clue what he’s talking about and because I dissagree with him he says I’m taking steriod, what an a_s!!!!!
Troll lvl: Master
For being a mathologist you left out some very key components. You don’t have to explain the math behind the equation, but you should describe what each variable represents. Anyone can throw out some letters and number say they have a degree from a corresponance college and tell people their equation represtents what they want. PROVE IT! What about jumping? Basketball, football, track and so forth. You have a load directly above your legs that you are trying to move upward. Would a squat not improve this?
Nice!!! You know satire is written well when half the idiots reading it have no idea whether you are being serious or not! Great work!!!
I honestly believe you wrote this article as a joke, but in case you are serious, I am 100% sure you are the champion of morons!
” If my math is correct, and according to my PhD. in Mathology from the correspondence college of Nigeria it is, the following formula illustrates my point perfectly:”
Just the fact the you are finding some way to throw in that you have a PHd in math (haha-basket weaving and geography may have been better choices) from some bullshit online school in a terrible squatting article negates any relevance to any of your statements.
Thank you for all the laughs!
I really hope this is satirical – if not you should probably go back to school for another 8 to ten years. Hopefully they can teach you common sense and logic the second time around.
Your an idiot. Anyone who remotely thinks any of this is true is an idiot as well
Just out of curiosity, are you retarded?
You sir with your “Mathology Doctorate” are absolutely full of shit.
You lost me at “It is well documented that squats are a horrible exercise CHOOSE…” For a nano second I thought this was an actual fitness website manned by some dumbass fitness instructor. Good lulz.
Quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read.
Why do your knees or back hurt when you squat?
I hope you’re trolling, you dumbass.
Wow…your a special kind of stupid aren’t you?
I got a pretty good laugh out of this. A very funny and intelligent discourse creating a comical satire with many satirical and hysterical examples.
This is the funniest Troll-article i’ve ever read, made me lol, thank you!
This is officially the dumbest thing I’ve ever read……including Archie and jug head comics.
You are a dumbass I hope nobody else wastes there time on this. Squats are the king of all exercises theres a reason so many sports do them.
You sir are a fucking idiot
WOW….. Just wow. The fact that you posted this is amazing. I am at a loss for words.. Please be respectful and do more research. Just some friendly advice.
sure, i’m 18 and have been using steroids for over a year… Idk of this is some kind of a joke… And even if it is, it is a joke that’s not worth a dog’s spit filled with the crap it licked a minute ago.
I hate you!
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